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By Sarah King


As people age, everyone starts to see signs of their bodies slowing down. Sometimes things don't work as well as they used to. When you notice your husband being less attentive than usual and turning the television up louder and louder, you might question how well he hears. Even when he says he can hear just fine, you probably strongly suspect you are dealing with a husband hard of hearing.

A lot of men hate admitting anything might be wrong with them, so getting your spouse to the audiologist may be a challenge. If you have to call and set the appointment up yourself and walk him into the office, you need to do it. Once the audiologist has confirmed your suspicions, the next thing to do is tackle the problem head on.

The audiologist will sit down with both of you and explain exactly what the issues are, how much loss there is, and what your spouse can expect going forward. The doctor may recommend hearing aids or cochlear implants as the best course of action. It's not a life threatening situation however, and your spouse has time to decide how he wants to handle it.

Now that you know exactly what the problem is, there are ways you can help your spouse. When talking to him, face him and look him in the eye. If he is standing with his back to you, you can reach out and touch his back or shoulder to let him know you're behind him. Background noises interfere with conversation. Instead of trying to talk over the television, turn it off or down. Yelling is counterproductive. Exaggerated enunciation is insulting.

Going to public places, like restaurants or the mall, can be difficult because you can't adjust the background noise. In this case, pointing and gesturing are acceptable ways to get his attention. Don't chew, smoke, or cover your mouth when you're talking to your spouse. Remembering all this can be annoying, but you have to have patience. He didn't choose this loss. Finding ways to share a laugh about it, will help.

Your husband is not an invalid, and you aren't required to treat him like one. He has a responsibility to help you as well. He can tell when something you do makes it harder for him to hear you. He will have to handle public situations. He will have to learn to listen. You may have been telling him this for years, but now he doesn't really have a choice.

You shouldn't wait for an emergency to happen to make a plan. You and your partner can go shopping for special devices that will flash or vibrate to alert him to an unusual situation. You can choose from auditory, visual, and tactile devices.

Hearing loss is not fatal. It is inconvenient, and it has to be addressed. There are simple ways you can both accommodate the situation to make it less stressful. Communication, patience, perspective, and humor are good first steps.




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